When Love's Gone Country (Sequel two of the Embracing Love Trilogy) Read online

  “You could talk to someone.”

  “I’ve talked ‘til I’m blue in the face.”

  “Not the real stuff.”

  “Whose side are you on?”

  “Yours. I’ve always been on your side.” Jeremy was quiet. He could hear the faint rumbling of conversation between the adults. Jacob was right about one thing, they were probably deciding what kind of punishment he was going to get. Meg and Bobby had been fair about everything as far as he could tell, but Jacob hadn’t told the whole truth of what it was like with their biological parents.

  It had been much worse than he let on.

  “You do what you gotta do. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. I’ve been watchin’ you do it for years. You’re a good teacher. Just… could you not forget about me? It’s okay if I don’t see you for a while, but I wouldn’t want to never see you again.”

  Jacob swallowed the hard lump in his throat. “That’ll never happen. We’re blood. I’ll always find a way to see you. I promise.”

  “Don’t make a promise you don’t plan on keepin’.”

  “I promise.”

  The sound of footsteps made the boys look up.

  “We’re not going to continue exploring. I don’t feel comfortable having either of you boys out of my sight right now,” Meg said.

  “You’ll be riding with us the rest of the way to the Double Y Ranch,” Bobby said.

  “We wanted to ride with Diego,” Jeremy said.

  “That was a privilege,” Bobby said. “You get privileges when you’ve earned them through your behavior.”

  “But I didn’t do anything, why are you punishing me?”

  “It will be a good time for us all to talk,” Meg said.

  “There’s nothin’ to talk about,” Jacob said.

  “That’s what we need to talk about,” Bob said. “Come on, we’re heading back to the lodge.”

  The boys stood up and began retracing their steps.

  “I hate being a parent,” Meg said.

  “Now you tell me,” Purity said, placing her arm around Meg.

  “He’s so angry.”

  “He got the worst of it,” Courtney said. “Not only that, he had to protect Jeremy, too. Can you imagine? He never even really had a childhood. They stole it from him.”

  “They’re still stealing it from him, from both of them,” Bob said.

  “We’ve got to find a way to stop the stranglehold Paul and Amanda Reese have over the boys,” Meg said. Tears burned at the corners of her eyes. “We’re letting them down. We promised to take care of them. I can’t stand feeling so distant from my son. He’s just a boy. He doesn’t deserve any of this.”

  Bobby encircled Meg with his arms. “We’ll find a way.”

  “We all will,” Purity said.

  “It’s like that story about the kid and the alligator,” Court said.

  “What?” Alex asked as everyone stared at Courtney.

  “You know, the story about the alligator that snapped its jaws on that kids’ arms? The mom was nearby and she grabbed a hold with all her strength and might and ferocity of love to save her child.

  Eventually the alligator let go. The mother never did. The boy had to have surgery, but was okay in the end. He had huge scars on his arms.”

  “Because of the alligator’s teeth,” Brad said.

  “No, because of the mother’s grip.”

  “Are you guys comin’ or what?” Jacob asked, tapping his foot impatiently against the ground.

  “We’re coming,” Alex said.

  “We’re gonna give him scars,” Courtney said. “Ferocity of love scars. No one will ever take those boys away from us.”

  “Scars,” Meg repeated.

  “A butt load of scars!” Bob said.

  Meg smiled through her tears. “We’ll scar ‘em for life so they can never say they weren’t loved.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Purity said.

  “It’ll be like branding,” Courtney said. “Hey, we could all get tattoos that—”

  “Let’s get on the road before Court gets out her cattle prod,” Brad said, taking her hand and leading her toward the boys.

  “I was talking.”

  “You’re always talking.”

  “Point taken.”

  When they reached the boys, they all fell in step with one another.

  “You mad at me, too?” Jeremy asked.

  “I’m not mad at anyone.” Courtney said. “There’s something you guys need to understand. We love you. There’s nothing you can do to make us not love you. Swinging on vines, running away, spilling paint… none of that matters, not in the long run. Family is what matters. Commitment. We all promised to love you and care for you and be your family. You may not want to be part of our family, but we want you to be.

  You scared me, Jacob. I was afraid something had happened to you. I don’t get all weepy like Meg, but my insides were crashing like waves on the shore when we couldn’t find you. My mind went to worst case scenarios: you’d fallen in the river and were drowning, that old man we met was really some kind of psycho and he had nabbed you, there was some animal trap that you’d gotten hung up in and you couldn’t yell for help.

  Yes, I know, my imagination runs wild. When I heard your voice, I physically relaxed because I knew you were okay and nearby. Then you were flying by over my head and I got all worked up again.

  There’s no one I love more than my family and there’s no one I would miss more than my family if they were gone.

  This isn’t a guilt thing. It’s me telling you how I feel. I love you. And, I love you, Jeremy. My life would not be the same without you boys. You saved my creative soul. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that. I haven’t.

  Meg didn’t do it. Purity didn’t do it. They’re my very best friends. It would make sense that they would be the ones who could help me most, but it was you two. You make my life better simply by being who you are. I’m selfish. I don’t want that to ever change.”

  “I love you, too,” Jeremy said.

  An awkward silence spun circles around them as they walked back to Moon Spirit Lodge. Jacob never said a word.

  Scars, Courtney thought to herself. She may be giving them to herself, but she didn’t care. Jacob was going to hear how much she loved him until he was sick to death of it. She’d give him ferocity of love scars, whether he liked it or not.

  Chapter Eight

  Meg confirmed their rendezvous point. “Two hours. It shouldn’t take any of us longer than that.”

  “It’s not like we’re under FBI surveillance. We’ll be fine,” Courtney muttered as she and Brad made their way to their vehicle.

  “She needs to feel in control of something,” Brad said.

  “I’m like Jacob, I don’t want anyone being the boss of me.”

  “As if anyone could.”

  “I’m driving.”

  “Fine with me.” He tossed her the keys.

  “No argument?”

  “I figured it was your turn. I drove first, now you, then I’ll drive again.”

  “Very practical.”

  Diego jumped into the back seat, immediately pushing half his body through the narrow opening between the front seats.

  “Nuh uh. You’re staying in the back seat.”

  The rebuff didn’t sit well. Diego managed to plant one paw firmly on Brad’s thigh.

  “What did I just say? Back. Now.”

  The canine hung his head, pleading with caramel eyes to sit up front.

  “How can you resist?” Court asked.

  “Do you have any idea how much he weighs and how big he is? There’s no way he’d fit up here.”

  “He’d fit if you sat in back.”

  Brad slowly turned his head until his eyes met Courtney’s. “Them’s fightin’ words.”

  “Glad to see I can still get a rise out of you.”

  “Two hours!” Meg yelled as Bobby put the convertible in reverse. “Call or text if so
mething comes up.”

  “I hope you’re not that anxious as a mother,” Alex said to Purity as he held the pick-up truck door open for her.

  “I can only wish to be half the mother Meg is.”

  “I didn’t mean she wasn’t a good mother.”

  “I know what you meant. It’s more the planner in her than the mother. I have that in me, too.”

  “That’s why you’re so good at your job as Events Coordinator.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Why can’t Diego ride with us?” Jeremy asked Bobby and Meg.

  “There’s not enough room,” Bob said.

  “We could make room.”

  “Besides,” Meg said, “we want to talk with you about what happened.”

  “We don’t have to talk about it anymore. I get it. I was wrong. You were right.” Jacob’s face twisted into a surly snarl.

  “That’s not what we wanted to talk about. There seems to be some confusion about your living with Bob and me. We adopted both of you because we love you and made a commitment to share our lives together. We didn’t specify that it was only during the good times.

  We knew things would get harder as you grew up. It’s natural after what you’ve been through. And we’re certainly not perfect parents. We make mistakes. We apologize. We try again.” Meg sighed. “The bottom line is that we love you. We don’t want to control you or own you. We want to help you become the people you were destined to become, whatever that might look like.”

  “So, you’re saying I could be a thief and you’d be okay with that?” Jacob asked.

  “We wouldn’t like it,” Bobby said.

  “We’d try to get you to explore other options,” Meg added.

  “But in the end, you’d still be our son.” Bob shrugged his shoulders. “I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth.”

  “What if I took off with Jacob? Would you be mad at me?” Jeremy said.

  “Not mad,” Meg said. “I’d be worried, concerned that you might get into some kind of trouble that you can’t get out of by yourself. I’d wonder if you were cold or hungry. I’d miss your laugh and the way you jump and shout with excitement at the smallest things.”

  “What would you think about Jacob?”

  “He’s older. He knows more about living on the streets. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t worry. With Jacob I’d be concerned he’d start stealing or get involved with a bad crowd.

  Every mother envisions a life for her kids. Oh, it’s all the usual stuff: having good friends, a job they like with growth potential and meeting someone and falling in love. Added to that, they want to be part of their life. To share dreams and hopes, secrets and laughter, and help a bit along the way when things can be uncertain and dark.”

  “What if I don’t need your help?” Jacob asked.

  Bobby’s eyes met Jacob’s in the rearview mirror. “Everybody needs help at one time or another. The hard thing is being humble enough to realize you need it.”

  Jacob turned his head to the side, avoiding Bobby’s gaze. He didn’t need to hear any more of their spiel. He heard bits and pieces about family, commitment and being part of something larger than himself.

  He’d heard it all before, when he was younger.

  “You’re part of this family and ain’t nothin’ or no one gonna come ridin’ in here to take you away to some Disney castle. Now git down on all fours in front of your Daddy’s chair,” Amanda Reese had said.

  Jacob complied.

  Paul Reese leaned back in his chair, then dug his heels into Jacob’s back. “You make a good footstool there, son.” He crossed his legs at the ankles, increasing the pressure in one spot.

  Jacob’s back buckled and he fell to the floor.

  “Git up!” Amanda screeched. “You gotta pay your way ‘round here. You think we’re made of money? Labor is all you got to give us and we’re gonna take it out in trade.”

  Jacob repositioned himself, steadying his hands and legs as best he could.

  This time Paul stood up, placed one booted foot square in the middle of Jacob’s back and stepped down as if he were climbing a stair. The air in Jacob’s lungs flew from his body as flesh and bone were pressed deep into soiled carpet. His breath came in short pants, his lungs burning with pain.

  “Jesus Christ, Paul, you tryin’ to kill the boy? He ain’t no good to us dead.”

  Jacob watched as the room turned gray and then black with small stars that seemed to shoot out from every angle. He could hear words being said, but they didn’t make any sense. He knew he was on the floor, but he felt like he was falling. He wondered if he’d hit solid ground soon.

  When he woke up, he was in the hospital with a dozen bruises, four broken ribs and a collapsed lung. The memory of what it meant to be part of a family rang in his ears.

  Jeremy nudged Jacob. “Dad asked you a question.”

  Jacob glanced at Jeremy, then at Bobby. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

  “He was trying to be nice,” Jeremy whispered.

  Jacob put his hand inside his jacket pocket. He wanted to run. Not just from Meg and Bobby, but from himself. He wrapped his fingers around the handle of the gun. A calmness began to soothe his adrenaline surge.

  He had power, ultimate control. He could shoot Bobby in the back of the head right now. He’d lose control of the steering. The car would roll out of control. They’d all be dead. One shot, that’s all he’d need.

  Jeremy knew Jacob was hiding something in his coat pocket. Whatever it was, he’d had it for several months. Whenever he touched it, Jacob’s eyes got this funny, glazed look that scared him. He didn’t know what he’d do if his brother left. He didn’t want to find out what life would be like without Jacob because it couldn’t be good.

  “Promise me you won’t do nothin’ stupid,” Jeremy said in a low voice.

  “I won’t.”

  “Promise.”

  “I promise.”

  Jeremy had always trusted Jacob, until now. His brother was lying. His promises weren’t real. It was like everything solid in his life had turned to wax and it was all melting away. He wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t.

  “Anyone have to go to the bathroom?” Meg asked when they had been on the road about an hour.

  The boys shook their heads.

  Meg felt hot tears slide from her eyes, hidden behind dark glasses. It was the continued sniffing that Bob noticed. He reached over and took her hand in his. Meg’s lower lip began to quiver. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

  Why was all this happening now? They were finally into a rhythm of normalcy. The boys were doing well in school. She and Bob had their schedules synced up so one of them was home when the boys got home in the afternoon. Everything was going so well.

  Meg thought back to therapy sessions they’d had, both individual and family. Jeremy was a chatterbox, always willing to tell details of events, even when they weren’t pretty. Getting Jacob to share was always harder. He would give the basics, but anything more had to be pried out of him with a crowbar.

  How deep must it go? If the things he’d shared were only the tip of the iceberg, just what horrible memories did he live with every day? And, how do you survive something like that? How do you help someone survive something like that?

  Meg grabbed her phone and began composing an e-mail to her counselor. The answers weren’t going to simply fall from the sky. This wasn’t just Jacob’s problem, it was a family issue and it would take all of them working together to find some kind of answers.

  Meg glanced over her shoulder at Jacob. He was listening to his iPod, one hand in his pocket. He looked peaceful, almost serene. She wondered what he was thinking about.

  Chapter Nine

  The second stop was uneventful. The boys were unusually quiet, setting Meg’s nerves on edge. A fact she shared with her friends while they were in the restroom.

  “I wish they’d say something, anything. This silence is driving me crazy.”
>
  “Be thankful for it,” Court said. “It could be so much worse, with yelling and gnashing of teeth.”

  “Have you ever seen someone gnash their teeth?” Purity asked. “It’s an odd saying, don’t you think?”

  “The point is, they’re not trying to get away from you and they’re not swearing at you. They’re safe. Let’s all just be thankful for that.”

  Meg shrugged. “I guess. I wish we were back home. If they take off now, we wouldn’t even know where to look to find them.”

  Purity put her arm around Meg’s shoulders. “They’re not going anywhere. Once we get to the Double Y, our focus will change. You’ll see. Things will get better.”

  “Pure’s right. Once they start roping and wrangling, they won’t have to time to sit and stew.”

  “Like a chicken,” Meg said.

  “What?” Purity said.

  “You said stew and I said like a chicken. Chicken stew, get it?”

  “But I wasn’t talking about an animal.”

  “I know, Meggie. It was supposed to be a joke. Bad timing.”

  “Bad joke,” Court said.

  “Come on, let’s get back on the road. Only four more hours and we’ll be at the ranch. I’m looking forward to a great big dinner with meat and potatoes and some homemade pie.”

  “I have to admit, I wasn’t too keen on this idea in the beginning, but when Meg showed me all the food, I was in,” Courtney said.

  “I thought this kind of thing would be right up your alley,” Purity said.

  “I love animals and the outdoors, but getting up at four a.m. to put my hand under a chicken’s ass for an egg is something I could go my whole life without experiencing.”

  “Where’s your sense of adventure?” Meg asked.

  “Give me a canvas and an easel – that’s my idea of adventure.”

  “Come on. The boys are going to think we’ve gone AWOL.” Purity glanced in the mirror and laid a hand on her flat stomach.

  “No baby bump yet,” Meg said. “Soon. Very, very soon.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  “You can’t spend your whole life apologizing for being able to have a baby. It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but it is, you know? I want you to be happy.”